“The most important things in a relationship”

My ten:

1) His mother’s heart in a jar of Formalin

2) Her father’s scalp, properly tanned. Ladies, you can’t just hang this out to dry and expect it not to stink up the bedroom!

3) A seine for night fishing

4) Introducing the significant other to dead ancestors. That’s whether you intend to get married or not. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

5) Same eye color yes, same blood type never.

6) Gray gloves. The white ones won’t do.

7) Tiny bicycles, and plenty of them. The red ones that come in a plastic tub of 200.

8) An unbelievable number of vaccinations.

9) A fundamental disagreement around which the relationship will twine and grow.

10) A strict policy, agreed upon in advance, for handling pregnancy, evil spirits or the discovery of a wheat penny.